OK so I’m still here and it’s the end of March, the time I said I was going to ‘do-one’ and head off to try new things because ‘it’s do-able’.
Well I didn’t and I haven’t. Or have I?
The last three months have been up there with some of the most testing and lowest during my 8 years with the business. January to March, always the quietest period of our financial year and now with our largest team to date, the pressure has been on to keep them (and us) employed. We’ve taken a financial hit so as to secure the exceptional team we’ve managed to find.
I have been told by close family and friends that I often put too much pressure and responsibility on my shoulders. Guilty. I do and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I started thinking about my last post ‘It’s do-able’ and reasons why I keep coming back to it. I was ready to head off, try new things, learn new things, and hopefully in return, get a pat on the back from a CEO for doing so. My personality of holding that responsibility dictates that that won’t happen. So I searched for back up to my question and I came across a Jim Blasingame article in Forbes. Is it do-able and why can’t I do it?
Jim Blasingame referred to the Paul Simon song ‘Still crazy after all these years’ and noted that an SBA report found OVER HALF of all small businesses failed within the first four years (Well done us for turning 9 this year! Whoop!). Hearing this song 11 years after it’s release he noted a relevance to the growing population of SME’s and how we’re all crazy to go against the odds.
‘Why don’t you get a real job?’ is a common question and mentioned in this article. For me personally, I’m emotionally tied in to 50/50 ownership with my Mum …and maybe a crazy control freak. As much I want to leave and use my expertise gained from business ownership and management, I can’t leave because it has me embedded in it’s very veins. So there is my answer. If it wasn’t for Mum and my stupid responsibility bearing shoulders I can assure you I’d be writing this post as a goodbye and ‘doing-one’. I know I’d be OK but this is Mum’s life as she knows it and I want to support her to success.
So I’m staying, because I don’t know how to leave. If that means I have to deal with down months, irrational decisions, and my crazy mind then that’s the way it must be. To help me continue on this path (of what could end up as emotional self destruction if I don’t act!) I have signed the dotted line. A seven session plus one to one coaching leadership and management course to help me figure out how to ‘find myself’. Yep, one of those types. However, if I’m already crazy what’s the worst that can happen?
Being a business owner can make you feel all emotions, sometimes in the same day! Lonely, worthless, failure, tired, disheartened, erratic, CRAZY. Proud, excited, giddy, intelligent, eager, creative. IT’S INSANE! So seek help when it’s needed. Don’t be afraid to say ‘this is hard, I’m going crazy, and really struggling’.
THIS IS HARD, I’M GOING CRAZY, AND I AM REALLY STRUGGLING.
Yes you might be crazy now but I believe it’s do-able with the right amount of honesty and coaching. Mum and I coached each other for 10 successful roller-coaster years and we nailed it!